The 3 Types of Negative Executive Energy

In this episode of Executiveland, Elizabeth Freedman explores the subtle forms of negative executive energy that quietly undermine trust and performance. She breaks down how even high-performing leaders can unintentionally shift into self-protective behaviors that hold them back.

From proving your worth to perfecting every detail, these tendencies often come from a good place. This conversation offers a grounded look at how to recognize these patterns and shift back to a more intentional, results-driven way of leading.

You’ll explore:

• How these three types of negative executive energy show up under pressure
• Why trying to prove your value at senior levels can actually weaken your credibility
• How over-managing perception or staying overly polished can come across as inauthentic and limit your influence
• The hidden cost of perfectionism on team performance, decision-making speed, and long-term scalability

You'll learn practical ways to spot your default pattern and make small, immediate shifts in how you show up. From saying less in moments of proving energy to sharing work before it feels perfect, these adjustments can quickly change how others experience your leadership and the impact you create.

For more tools, insights, and strategies to lead with clarity and credibility, visit Elizabeth’s website, take the C-Suite Readiness Assessment, and subscribe to Executiveland on  Apple Podcasts and Spotify and so you never miss a new chapter of the unwritten playbook!

Registration for Spring 2026 E-Suite Impact is now open – register before March 31 for preferred early rates. For details and to sign up, please visit https://esuiteleader.com/impact-program

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• Forbes Column: https://www.forbes.com/sites/elizabethfreedman/
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• Twitter X: @‌esuiteleader

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hi, everybody, welcome back to another episode of Executive Land. If you are new to the podcast, welcome. And if you've been with me, thank you. I am so glad that you're here. And, you know, this is where we talk about this space that it really includes the behaviors, the rules, both spoken and unspoken, about life at that executive level. It's not something that's typically written down. There's really not a map for executive land. And so whether you are in the C-suite, maybe you aspire to be, maybe your job just requires lots of interaction with folks in executive roles, uh, you're in the right place. And today I want to talk about something that they do not teach us in executive school. And it's about the different types of negative executive energy. Now, I should say this. We talk about positive energy, bringing a lot of energy into our roles all the time in the context of leadership. And of course, that makes a ton of sense because we know that good senior leaders, they really do bring a lot of very positive energy typically to the work they do. And really, I would say they don't have uh much of a choice. I just think the pace and the demands of being in a very, very senior role, they are high. And I'm not telling any of you anything that you don't know or experience yourselves, but let's talk about the other side of it. Because what I found is that the same type of energy, that kind of drive, can show up in ways that undermine trust and performance. Now, what makes this interesting and maybe not surprising is number one, this is of course completely unintentional. Nobody shows up to work and says, you know, hey, let me bring some negative energy to the job today. And of course, number two, these types of energies we're going to look at while they show up exactly when you might expect. So for instance, we're under pressure, we're tired, we're feeling kind of weighed down by our work or what we're facing. And certainly, this is all part of not just the leadership experience, but the human experience. The issue is if we are not paying attention, these energies, they will leak out. They will impact how we engage and interact with our markets, our customers, our employees, and they have a real impact on performance for our teams, for our organizations. And so what am I talking about here? Well, I call these three types of negative executive energy. Number one, proving energy. Number two, performing energy. And number three, perfecting energy. So let's walk through these. They're new to the company. And so, again, I want to say this is not intentional, but they may feel a need to make sure that other people know about their past accomplishments, what things were like, where they worked previously. They want to make sure people know, hey, it's not my first rodeo. I've had lots of wins. I have a strong track record. I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm talking about. Let me ask you, as you're listening to me, can you think of someone who displays this kind of proving energy? The fact is, if we see too much of this from a leader, it starts to become a problem for us. But let's take a step back. Why is this happening? If you and I are proving energy kinds of leaders, it's as if we don't trust deep down that people are going to see these qualities in us unless we really prove it to them, we put it out there. So unfortunately, um this is the kind of leader who needs to be maybe the smartest person in the room. They always have to weigh in, they add their two cents. And listen, sometimes that's really valuable, but it's when that starts to feel like hey, are you adding insight to support the conversation to help us? Or is this about impressing us, proving to us what you know, impressing the boss? That's when it hurts the leader. Proving energy can also happen when we feel, frankly, just a little bit out of our league. Makes sense when we're new to a role. So maybe we're struggling with a bit of imposter syndrome. Maybe deep down we are feeling like we don't quite belong yet. Maybe it's about showing people, you know, we know what we're talking about. We've done our homework. So, for example, you might see a leader talking about what they accomplished in the last quarter. Or maybe they're spending a lot of time presenting to a CEO or an executive team where they're providing a level of context or detail that just isn't needed just to show that you know what you're talking about. And I want to say this type of proving energy can be harder to see because it can often masquerade as helpful information or important context. But really, it's more about us than them and needing to prove something. There's another side of proving energy I also want to touch on, frankly, because it's quite common and it presents very differently than what we've discussed. But the root of it is the same because, once again, it's about a level of insecurity. And that proving energy comes up when you feel you haven't earned the right to speak. So, for example, let's say you sit on the marketing leadership team of your own organization, and in that capacity, you attend a variety of other leadership team meetings across your businesses. So I find that leaders in this type of situation, those that may be representing a function in a business meeting, they might stay more in, let's say, listening mode. They may tend to weigh in when it comes to, for example, their marketing issues, but not provide insight about that business. They may not feel as inclined to weigh in about broader enterprise themes. They tend to kind of stay in their lane and stick to their area of expertise. I find these are the types of leaders that wait until they have all the data. And once again, I describe this as a type of proving energy. It's just a different version of, you know, I need to establish my credibility. And so you're going to see it in small ways. I find you might spend the first few minutes of a meeting really diving into a level of data or detail when you are asked to speak up. Once again, not because it's needed, but because it's showing your expertise. And so the problem with all of this type of proving energy is that it's almost as if we're answering the wrong question. We're wondering: do they think I belong here? Do they know how much experience I have? Do they see how much we've accomplished? Do they see how smart we are? But at those senior levels, at the executive level, like no one is really asking that question anymore. It's not about if you're smart enough. I mean, you are in the job. You've already earned it. You didn't get there by accident. You were chosen for a reason. So do you belong here is no longer the question. The question is: can you help move this business forward? Do you understand what we're really trying to accomplish right now? Can you get other people to go along with you? I mean, you're just not there to prove your value anymore. You're there to create value. Okay, so it's not proving, right? It's just demonstrating that ability to understand and perform. But speaking of performing, let's move to the second type of negative energy. Now I want you to think about performing in a different context. Think actor on a stage. And while that sounds very dramatic and overt, it tends to be a bit more subtle because it can look like strong leadership on the surface, strong executive presence. It can look like being pretty polished, very positive, you know, in command. But underneath, this kind of energy is about needing to be seen in a certain way. And so this might look like being overly positive, even political, very careful, where you really, really are very guarded. You're couching everything you say so that it just comes out just in the right way. Or you're bringing an energy of again, everything is great. So it's very rah-rah-ra, you know, very much playing the role of the loyal corporate soldier. And, you know, I love this company. And, you know, we all want leaders to display optimism and a positive energy, but at a certain point, it just stops landing with people. Because nobody, nobody inside the company, not your team, not your CEO, nobody is looking for constant positivity from you. They really want balance and judgment. They want you to give them a very clear read on what is the reality. And so if a tone is, for example, too upbeat or polished or just like too on, it really comes across as inauthentic. It can also come across as a bit naive. Like there's only upside, it's all good news. But the balance, again, the downside, the cost, you're just not hearing enough of that as well in the message. So that performing energy can also look like just trying too hard. I see this with leaders that are very concerned with building their own brands and visibility inside their organizations. Now, once again, there's always a positive side to this, but too much performing energy can look like setting up a lot of meetings or one-on-ones just to kind of network and connect with other executives. But you and I know people don't really have a lot of time for that. And so their reaction is often, you know, why are you reaching out to me? Why are we here? I have to tell you, I can relate to performing energy. I mean, I love theater and being on stage, and I have to be careful because I can come off this way if I don't watch it. And so if you can relate to this, maybe if you're like me in this way, I have to use words with myself, like, hey, let's just talk like a normal human being. Be direct, be grounded, balance. And you know, sometimes that might mean bringing a more direct or sober tone, or just being real with your audiences in different ways. But ultimately, it really is about being able to read the room and look at your own style. You know, you got to match that tone and demeanor to what is actually happening with that audience versus what you or I might think will land well. And this brings me to the third type of negative energy, perfecting. It is such a common negative energy style, because it is absolutely the one that gets rewarded the most, particularly earlier in our careers, because it's all about having high standards, quality, smart attention to detail. These are good things. But too much of that perfecting energy really can become a constraint for us. It's not just about doing things well. You know, there's a knowing of when is good enough good enough? When does something need to be a 10 on a scale of one to 10 versus an eight or even a seven? It's really trusting your judgment. And this is something a lot of us struggle with. We still question whether something is good enough. And this is a hard skill to develop explicitly. And so what I find is when we're not sure, everything really becomes a 10. And not surprisingly, leaders that tend to be a little more risk-averse, who are a bit more wired to worry, these are the ones that ruminate, struggle to shut off the minds a little bit. Maybe they're in cultures or organizations where mistakes are really not tolerated well. You know what I'm talking about, and maybe I'm talking to you right now. You can see where everything becomes a 10. It has to be perfect. We all know there's a real cost to this. It's exhausting. But not just that, it just really slows the pace of decision making, of execution. This is where we see teams not feel empowered because leaders continue to just be too close to the work. They're far too much into the details. The teams wind up becoming dependent on the leaders for everything. It's not sustainable. And, you know, people burn out because you start to push for excellence absolutely everywhere. And, you know, underneath it, perfection energy is needing to maintain a very high level of control because what we fear are outcomes that are negative in any way. And so the skill to think about when it comes to perfecting energy is confidence, true confidence. The type of confidence where we know, whether it's at an individual, even a team level, even if we do experience a negative outcome, we have the ability to handle it. We can figure it out, we can course correct, we can improve. It sounds simple, but you know, if we really adopted and embraced this mindset, perfecting energy would quickly go away. And so the more of we have of that type of confidence, the less of that negative perfection energy you're going to see. So, where are we? We've said proving energy is really about countering that insecurity that we feel inside. The need to show people we've earned the role, we belong here, right? That we know what we're talking about. Performing energy is really about managing how other people see us, wanting to make sure people like us, we're pleasing. And so the counter to that ultimately is we've got to really read the room and bring the right balance of authenticity to our interactions. And perfecting is about trying to control outcomes. And really, underneath that is just a fear, a fear of negative outcome and an inability, let's say, to handle it. And so let's recognize all of these energies really come from a very good place. We develop negative energy out of something positive, which is we're trying to do a good job. We want to connect with others, we want to show our value and do great work. The real problem with all of these types of negative energies is that they become such a trap. And really, the trap is it's just too much focus about us. And it winds up undermining, as we said earlier, the kind of trust and credibility that we have with others. Because look, when we're in senior roles, it's not about managing how other people see us. Really, what we're paid to do is deliver results. We've got to move the business forward. And so that requires we've got to let go of proving and performing and perfecting. So before we wrap up, I want to give you three simple things that you can start to really incorporate into your daily routine to just start to pay attention to these types of energies inside you. And the first thing you do is name your default negative energy. What I'm talking about is when the pressure's on, is there a type of negative energy that shows up for you? Because we want to be able to spot it quickly in ourselves before other people do. We want to think about what when I'm in this type of energy, what does it look like on me? Just starting with that awareness. You know, what am I doing? What am I saying? When is this happening? And then next, let's look at the cost of this energy. So, for example, let's say you do have a tendency to lean on proving energy more than you'd like. And maybe it is because you've been put in a new role, you're leading a new team, you're new to an organization. What is the impact of this kind of proving energy if it's left unaddressed? And why is it happening? I mean, maybe you're worried that if you you're not building credibility in this way, um people won't see your value. You won't be able to have the impact you want. Maybe you're concerned about what will happen if other people don't think you know what you're doing. I mean, so we just want to start to explore and get curious about why is this happening for us. And then I want to encourage you this week, finally, just to make one small change. If you know this is an area to work on, for example, back to that proving energy, it's about saying less, trusting that if you've got that expertise and that knowledge, people will see it. You don't have to tell them. And then when you do weigh in, do so with discretion. Do so with the intent that you're there to serve the purpose of the meeting, not to show people what you know. If you tend to have a lot of performing energy, start to develop that internal dialogue with words like be. Grounded. Just be real. Say what you really think. I mean, practice being more direct than maybe feels comfortable for you. And if you tend to have perfecting energy, well, you've got some different options here. But maybe it starts with just understanding out of everything you and your team really is working on what's a 10 and what doesn't have to be a 10. Maybe get in the habit of sharing something that's more draft form and iterating, sharing something before it's fully baked. So the idea here is that it's about making small shifts, but all of these can change the negative energy and maybe how others experience you very quickly. So I want to say this most of the time, most high-performing leaders have high-performing energy. But even strong leaders can fall into these patterns. And really, I think these patterns are so common. I like to say, just plan on them making an appearance from time to time, but don't let them limit you. So let's not pretend we're never going to experience these. It's about when you do, can you see it quickly and shift out of it fast? So that these types of negative energy moments are short. They're brief. They don't become habitual. They don't become part of our brand. And one more thing I want to say, which is that when we think about energy, it's not just the vibe, it's not just how we show up. It's really how we work and perform. Because energy really is at the heart of everything we do when it comes to executive performance. And so as you go through this week, think about ways that you can bring more positive energy, practical energy into the kinds of work that you do. And by the way, if this is the kind of conversation that interests you, I want to put two things on your radar. First, check out my program, ESUET Impact. It's an eight-week advanced leadership experience that combines masterclass, impact labs where we get to learn and apply important concepts like the ones I've been describing, and one-on-one support so that you're really able to dive into these areas and get the kind of insights and help that make a difference in your own career quickly. And then finally, go and visit my website, essuiteleader.com. You can check out hundreds of articles and resources where we explore ideas like this and others. All right, everybody, until next time, I'll see you in Executive Land. Thanks for joining today. Well, that's all for today in Executive Land. Thanks for listening. And if you're looking for more, check out my website, esweetleader.com, where you'll see all kinds of free resources and take the free executive readiness assessment. It shows you exactly where you're strong and where to focus next in your own leadership. And don't forget, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. I'll see you next time in Executive Land.