Executiveland
The Unwritten Playbook of the C-Suite
Executiveland is the podcast for senior leaders, aspiring executives, and anyone who wants to understand what it really takes to lead and succeed at the top.
Hosted by executive coach and trusted advisor Elizabeth Freedman — founder of E•Suite Leader and longtime advisor to Fortune 100 companies — this show takes you behind the scenes of 20+ years working with C-Suite executives and their teams.
Each month, you’ll get real-world insights from the coaching room: what works, what backfires, and the subtle traps even experienced leaders fall into. You’ll hear directly from executives about the do’s, don’ts, and day-to-day realities of leading at the highest level — the kind of stuff no one puts in a leadership book.
Whether you're an executive now or working closely with one, you’ll walk away with practical, actionable strategies to earn trust, build credibility, and make a bigger impact —Because no one hands you a map to Executiveland — but this is the next best thing.
Website: https://esuiteleader.com
Executiveland
"Everything becomes easier when it's not about you." with networking expert Keith Bailey
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode of Executiveland, Elizabeth Freedman sits down with communication and networking expert Keith Bailey, co-founder of Articulated Intelligence. They explore why strategic relationships are one of the most overlooked leadership assets and why relationship capital deserves the same attention as financial, operational, and human capital.
Keith shares why networking isn’t about collecting contacts, but about investing in relationships that create long-term opportunities.
Key themes you’ll hear:
- How to identify the five strategic relationships that can have the biggest impact on your career
- Practical ways to build authentic connections at events and strengthen your existing professional network
- Why intentional communication is a critical leadership skill, and how to avoid “unintentional audience abuse”
- How a simple 90-day relationship plan can expand your influence and unlock new opportunities
Share this episode with a leader who could use a reminder that networking isn't about collecting contacts, it's about building relationships that actually matter
For more tools, insights, and strategies to lead with clarity and credibility, visit Elizabeth’s website, take the C-Suite Readiness Assessment, and subscribe to Executiveland on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and so you never miss a new chapter of the unwritten playbook!
Mentioned in episode:
Networking Practice Labs: articulated-intelligence.com/practice-lab
The Go-Giver: amazon.com/Go-Giver-Expanded-Little-Powerful-Business/
The Art of Impossible: amazon.com/Art-Impossible-Peak-Performance-Primer
To learn more about Keith Bailey, articulated-intelligence.com/team
• Free C-Suite Readiness Assessment
• Website: https://esuiteleader.com/
• Forbes Column: https://www.forbes.com/sites/elizabethfreedman/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethfreedman
• Twitter X: @esuiteleader
Hi, and welcome to Executive Land. I'm Elizabeth Friedman, and this is where top leaders go off script to share straight talk and the unwritten playbook about life in the C-Suite. For more ideas, visit east SuiteLeader.com. Now let's dive into today's episode. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Executive Land. As you know, this is the podcast where we get to have great conversations about all things executive leadership and really what happens after you get the big job and after the promotion. And so I am very, very excited about today's conversation with Keith Bailey. And Keith, I want to tell you a little bit about Keith. Keith, you're gonna share more about your background. But first, I'd love to just make sure people know that you are an incredible facilitator, you're a keynote speaker, and you are also the co-founder of Articulated Intelligence, which is a firm focused on strengthening business performance through strengthening structured communication, relationship strategy, and practice-driven development. You know, Keith, I feel like you really are such an expert in all things networking. And we're going to discuss that. But first, pick it up from here. What else should we know about you, about your bio, your background? What did I miss? And what should we understand about articulated intelligence?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Thank you so much. And thank you so much, Elizabeth, for having me on to have this conversation with you. It's one of my favorite things to talk about, which is the uh strategic relationship development. Like, what are we doing to intentionally build the relationships that are going to help us as business professionals grow and also to help our businesses grow? Uh, my background, uh, long and short of it, uh, I had eight fun-filled years in the Marine Corps, gave me a mindset of the altruistic mindset, also that improvise, adapt, and overcome. There isn't anything that we cannot do when we put our minds to it. Uh, went into the hospitality industry for a long time and then eventually found my way into corporate America working in the cycling apparel industry.
SPEAKER_02So spandox everything.
SPEAKER_01And I did uh global sales for for two prominent brands in the apparel industry. And and working in that space, in that corporate space, was uh was a lot of incredible opportunities. And in fact, part of the reason why I'm walking the path that I am today is as a result of a need that I saw in that space. So we work with business professionals to help you live a life well spoken. And what does that mean? Is if the Shakespearean all the world is a stage, how you show up on those different stages and your ability to communicate is a direct reflection of your personal and professional brand. So if you want to uplevel that brand, up level your ability to communicate. And that's really what we focus on.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. Well, this I think is just going to resonate on so many levels because Keith, you know, one of the things that I've noticed certainly about the leaders that I've worked with is as talented, as experienced as they are, those strategic relationships I have observed do not typically extend far beyond their own organizations. Um and their heads are down, they're busy working, and yet their external networks in particular are surprisingly small. Um, and so I'm wondering if that's something that you're seeing. And maybe let's just pick it up from there. What are the things that you typically notice, particularly at the senior leader level? Um, is what I'm describing accurate from your view?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You are. You're you're you're spot on. Uh when we look at leaders, you know, they're they're focused on financial capital, the human capital, the operational capital, that strategy. And the thing that falls by the wayside is managing the relationship capital. And the relationship capital is both the internal, right? What are you doing to create succession planning, to give people opportunities to spot those leaders that are that are up and coming and to mentor them to become the absolute best that they can so they can support your organization, but also on the outside of it, like the visibility that you're creating for yourself is is incredibly important. So when we think about strategic relationship development, it's it's in it's in the BD, it's it's recruiting, strategic partnerships, client retention, MA, thought leadership is a huge part of it as well. And usually when we think about uh strategic relationship development, the word that the coin word that comes up that actually I think turns leaders off is is networking. Like, oh no, I I don't need to do networking. So it it's gotten a it's gotten a catch-all uh phrase to it, networking. So we break it down into more of the intentional strategy behind who is it that that you really need to be having conversations with. One of the things that we sit down and do first is is identify that uh that top five list. And it's not the the client that you're doing the most business with. I think that's fantastic. The things are growing really well there. It's also identifying like who's that client that you have or clients that you have that you're doing business with, but you really like to be doing more business with them. And usually the answer that comes back to me is well, well, yeah, sure. But you know, I've got a whole sales team for that, and I've got a VP of sales, and that's really what what the that's their job. That's what they do. And I say, yes. And what you should be doing is having peer-to-peer conversations and uh and relationships with the person that is is at the top of that business. And it's not necessarily getting in there and getting into the brass tacks of of getting, you know, selling them more stuff. It's getting into the brass tacks of getting to know that human being, of the person before the profession. And what are you doing to show up intentionally in places where they are? And then also what are you doing to invite them into your world? So it's it's changing the mindset from uh from the the the whole sales enablement. You've got a team for that. You as a leader need to pause, step back for a moment, and identify what are those five strategic relationships that I need to be investing my time in, whether it's for the business or for you personally.
SPEAKER_00I love that, Keith. And you know, I'm thinking about people listening right now. Um, but let's talk about those that may not be in, let's say, obvious client-facing roles. Their roles are, let's say, entirely internal, quote unquote, entirely internal. Because I think you and I are probably of the mindset that that's not really ever the case. But that said, where do we help this person start? So they're a senior leader. Um, maybe they're in an engineering or an operations role. Um, they may not be as client-facing. How do they, how should they be thinking about the five people? What would you want them to do first?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Uh one of the first ones I the questions I would uh look at is is where where have you been showing up the last 90 days? Let's let's take, let's turn back the clock. Where where is it that that you're going? And what is the reason behind that? What's the value behind you showing up in these places? Like what is your intentionality behind that? Because we know that as leaders, we've got very, very limited amount of time and we're we're needed in so many of these areas. So it is going back over the last 90 days and evaluating where are you showing up? And does it align with with where it is that you should be showing up? And showing up is everything from are you part of an association? Do you do you sit on the board? Are you a thought leader that's somebody that people come to? Um, are you uh, you know, let's let's talk about going to actual events. We talked a little bit about this before we started here today. Is how often do you have it where you're like, oh, I don't want to go to this event? Where you ask yourself the question, why, why am I even going to this? Which is the right question to ask. Especially as a leader, you have so many events to go to. One of the things that we work on is we end up categorizing the different types of events that you go to into a low, medium, and high stakes. And as a leader, you should only be going to high-stakes events. So it's it's looking it's looking at certain things like uh do the sponsors align with with our business? Or are those sponsors perhaps our business sponsors as well? Do are we doing business with them? What's your relationship to the event organizer or the host? If you're going to like, and also the uniqueness of it, right? Is it a curated dinner that you've been invited to at high stakes? The host has personally invited you to this. So you need to be able to show up and and build that relationship and invest in that relationship. Like those are the kinds of places that you need to be showing up. So there's a there's a whole list of other things that you can get into, but a large part of it is um what are your goals? Like what do you really want to accomplish with the relationships that you're building? What do you want to what do you want to get out of it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Keith, this is so useful because I think about some of the leaders I work with, again, busy, talented people. But when I think about where they have shown up over the last 90 days, what I often hear it's again, it's meetings internally. And so um they may not be getting invitations to certain external meetings, by the way, um, or the dinner and would like to be. And so what do we say to those leaders?
SPEAKER_01To to those leaders is if all you're doing is showing up to your internal meetings, then that is that that's that's something that's been covered. And what can you do to to delegate to get a few people to show up to those meetings that you don't that are let's let's take the same thing at the event stakes checklist and and and turn it towards meetings. Because if all you're doing is showing up to meetings, that that means that you're just sinking time there and you're avoiding something else.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_01Right, you're you're perhaps it's you and there's nothing wrong with this. You know, maybe maybe you just feel a little socially awkward and this is a safe space for you. Maybe there's some fear that's keeping you from from stepping into this. And so you've just just made yourself so busy. You know, it's it's a um we can make ourselves really, really busy. We can fill our calendars up, but the question is, is that serving you in your own professional path? Right? Is this your forever job? Is this where you want to be for the rest of your career? If the answer is yes, well, then you still shouldn't just be focusing just on the meetings that you're having because who's the next line of talent that's coming in? Where are they? And how are you gonna find them? Right? What are you doing to uh to stay to stay on top of trends that are occurring within your industry? Sure, you can read uh uh trade magazines. There's a lot of great ones out there, there's a lot of great content out there, but we also know that the best way to build those relationships is by showing up in person.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01And the some of the things that that leaders avoid naturally is going to some of those events because they really don't know why they're there. Like this is just what I'm told to do. So flip it around. Like be the be the leader and the CEO that you are in your business in building out the plan that you want to accomplish in in moving your career forward. It's the exact same application. Do the same research that you would do for the things that are happening in your business to help promote you outside of your business because you you gotta show up. You gotta show up.
SPEAKER_00You know, let me ask you a little more about that, Keith, because I do think, and you touched on this, certainly there's that whole inner, I don't know, how do we want to describe it? Inertia, dread, discomfort. And so, how have you worked with clients to kind of manage through this, take bigger risks in this space? What have you found? Because I know one of the things you and I were also discussing, it's the, okay, I'm at this sort of like cocktail thing. I feel awkward. Why don't I check my cell phone? All of those behaviors that we can kind of default to when we're not feeling comfortable. So, how do we work through some of that? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh, first things is knowing that that event's coming up. You've done your event stakes checklist. There's a reason and a purpose that you're there. And it's likely that you're there to meet a very specific person. The one person that I always want to meet is the event organizer. I want to put in the time to thank them and to be appreciative of the invitation and also for them hosting this event. And the reason behind that is uh is well, they know everybody. They have they've been they've curated this list. Right, of course. And to and to, yeah, and to even ask them, hey, is I this is if let's say it's your first time going to this, let's let's paint that as a scenario, is to is to ask them for help is hey, I came, I'm I'm at this, I came to this because your invitation, I looked at the website, it looks great. I'm looking to meet this specific type of person. Who should I be having a conversation with? And let them make that connection for you. They'll be more than happy to do it because that's the host is always the purse that wants to make these connections happen. Uh, the second part of it is the importance of putting the person before the profession. We have a tendency to just want to slip in and talk about work. I know I work with a lot of CEOs, and that's just a comfort zone, but we can all agree that we do business with the people we know, like, and trust. So we need to put that at the forefront. And with that, it's it's a it's a simple question. It's the same question. I ask the same question every single time, and it's a best question. I ask people, you know, today, what is today? Tuesday, right? What's what's what's been the best part of your week? Wednesday is a great one as well. What's the best thing you're looking forward to uh coming up this weekend? Uh, and then you can also take that best question and parlay it over into business. Like, what's what's been the best part of your business in 2026? What are you guys currently celebrating? And the framing of that. Let's talk about the framing of why a best question, as opposed to saying, what's going on? How's business? How you doing? It's too broad. It's hard for somebody to really think of something specific. So the best question narrows it down, it gets them to look in a very specific place, right? What are you celebrating? It's a very specific thing. And the reason for the positivity also is we do business with the people we know like and trust. That liking piece, if we're thinking about positive things that are happening, that is I call it the dopamine handshake. When you ask a best question of somebody else, it gets them to think of a positive thing, which washes them with dopamine. And because you've brought joy to somebody else, it washes you with dopamine as well. And it's just this dopamine handshake where we're both feeling great and we're starting a conversation off on a very positive note. And the one thing I get pushed back on from CEOs and from leaders is like, well, what if what if nothing great is happening? Well, what if nothing you know positive is happening in their business? Well, if they're gonna say that to you, that's a moment of vulnerability that you should really step into. First and foremost, like, I'm sorry to hear that that your business is not going well. Do you want to do you want to talk about it? I'd love to just hear like what are some of the things you're going to? It's likely that I might be going through some of the same things.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01Now we're creating this alignment and it's an on-ramp to a conversation. A best question is all it is is to get the conversation going.
SPEAKER_00I love that. Best question. That's so helpful, Keith. And I want to pause because I want to make sure we're all um hearing what you're saying. You've advised us, even just to reflect on where have you shown up the last 90 days, which I think is such a good starting point, to really take a step back and just uh, you know, from what are our goals? What are the things that we're really focused on? What are the five relationships that really enable or support that? And then being intentional, right? Not just showing up to stuff, but why are you there? And then if you're in a senior role, really identifying, as you say, the higher stage things, the things that really right where your peers are present. And then like, don't hide in a corner, engage with that event organizer, for example, have the best question. What I love about everything you're saying is I'm sitting here feeling like this is so practical, this is absolutely doable. Here's what I'm thinking about. I know some folks listening, they're going through, let's say, career transition. There's been a restructuring, maybe they're they're exploring new roles for whatever reason. And I know at those executive levels, again, they are really trying to develop, establish, re-engage with relationships. So this may not be event-driven, Keith, but how should these individuals be thinking about this kind of process, knowing that, again, many of them are in the same boat that I described earlier? They haven't necessarily invested as much time as they would have liked in some of these relationships. And now they're really needing them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Um, depending on the industry that you're in, um LinkedIn is a great place to go back and to begin to nurture those networks. There's within what we teach, there's the 75% reconnection rule. And what that means is that if you're going to intentionally spend four hours a month networking, three of those hours should be spent connecting with the network you already have, as opposed to going out and finding new people. Oh, did everybody hear that?
SPEAKER_00Everybody wants to be more PSN. That's such a great, helpful insight.
SPEAKER_01It's not it's not necessarily about gathering more and getting more in. That's right. It's it's it's strengthening those relationships that you have. So LinkedIn is a great place to uh to go and look and see what those connections that see uh the connections that you have and what they're doing. Well, what what are they talking about, especially if they're they're posting on LinkedIn is to is to comment on them and then to reach out to them. And and here's here's the thing that goes a long, long way. Honesty. Honesty goes a long way. Reaching back out to them, say, you know what, I've been remiss. I've been my head's down in this business for the last four years. And I gotta be honest with you, I've just been focused on business and I have not reached out to you. I truly I love the relationship that we had before, and I would love to just let's just pick it back up again and let's let's start talking. Are you are you are you available? Just I know it feels there's fear behind it. You're like, oh, they're gonna judge me. It's likely they did the exact same thing because relationships are two ways of communication. We if we if one person breaks the communication, then it's up to the other person to carry it. And if they're not carrying it, well, then it's on both ends. Yes. And sometimes we feel like, well, we can't reach out to that because I haven't talked to them in five years. This is where, Elizabeth, this is where the investment in putting the person before the profession pays off. Because you likely know something personal about them or personable about them. That is a great place to pick the conversation back up again. It's like I remember last time we talked, you were planning a trip to Europe. Like, I know it was four years ago, but catch me up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. That's right. That's right. Love that honesty approach. And, you know, in the spirit of honesty, Keith, talk to people like me because, you know, I I am so, you know, a believer in what you're saying. I would like to think that, like, okay, I believe in in relationships and network and that reciprocity. Okay. But you know, Keith, am I I I get in my head sometimes. I'll think things like, okay, I've really knocked on this door a bunch. This doesn't seem like a person who's necessarily interested in engaging. Hey, that's how it goes. But I do find sometimes that detriment of just, it's not that even I'm bothering them, but just kind of, you know, what do you do when you're you're trying to establish maybe new relationships? You're feeling like, again, you know, you're getting ghosted, you're not getting responded to. It happens, it's hard, but how do we work our way through some of that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You know, some people are are are frenemies, right? Do you you think you think they're friends yours, but they're really they're they're they're not, they're not, they're not that into you. And that's okay. And sometimes you just gotta let that relationship go and and and and walk away. It's those people that have the the reciprocity is is huge. Like somebody you reach out to them and they get back to you. Like that is somebody that that's a relationship worth nurturing. So some of the relationships you have, like it's it's maybe it's time to let them go. And so, and it's not you and it's not them. It's just that this this doesn't work, and that's okay. Yeah, so so that that's one. Uh the second one is those relationships that you have that you haven't connected with in a bit, is is to reach back out to them and and hit upon those areas. So, what one of the things that we coach uh leaders on is um we all know that the best CRM is the CRM that you use. So, whatever your structure is for a CRM, but to have a connection list in there, a dossier on each person, the things that you know, like, trust, uh the experiences that you've had. Uh, I keep a running list of of the people that I know and I come back to that again. And then from that, I I've got certain clients that I'm really nurturing that I'm doing business with, but I want to do more business with. So they are on my nurture list. It's almost like a drip campaign. And in it, uh uh like this one one client that I have, uh he's he's gotten really big into fitness. He went through some health issues, and his doctor's like, you really need to get your act together. So he's got a personal trainer. I used to be a personal trainer. I read this kind of stuff. So in my CRM, when articles come up, I'll just pop it in there. And I know that once I Month, I'm either making a phone call, I'm sending him a card, I'm uh uh sending him an email, or I'll send him an article. Like I've I've got these things happening. He lives in another state. So I have an ongoing conversation drip campaign of reasons to reach out to them. It's like, hey, Steve, this this article came through my feed. I thought of you. Like that's that's a nurturing of the relationship. And it's one of those nurturing of the relationship, it's a it's a reframe of the mindset. So I'm I'm the quick story. I'm 32 years old. I got my first desk job ever. And my job is smile and dial. And it is brutal. It is brutal. I get hung up on, I get yelled at. This one person yelled at me, he's like, How'd you get my phone number? I was like, it's in my CRM. I'm just he's like, I I don't want your number in my phone. I don't want my number in your CRM. And I was like, you know, as soon as this conversation is over, I'll, you know, if we don't want to move forward, I'm happy to delete it. He's like, this conversation's over. Click. I was like, oh, jeez. So I sent him an email. But my boss comes up to me, Dave Edwards. He's like, Keith, two things. Good news, bad news. One, good news, your phone fearless. You're making out balance. That's awesome. Two, the bad news is you're trying to sell them something. Stop it. Stop it. Stop selling them stuff. Call them up. And the only thing you want to do is have a conversation. You're both in the cycling industry. I was calling bike shops and bike teams. We love biking. So call them up and just talk about the thing that you both have in common, cycling. And let them come around and be like, hey, why are you calling me again? It's like, oh yeah, I'm the custom apparel guy. It's like, oh yeah, you're that guy. But it's the relationship. So in this outreach is to ask people how they're doing. All right. How can I support you best? What is it that you need? A great book for for everybody if they're looking to build relationships uh within the their their businesses is a book called The Go Giver by Bob Burke. It's it talks about the the five laws of stratospheric success. And in that, yeah, and in that one of them is the the law of reciprocity. Sure. Yes. How can I how can I help you?
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you know, I I love the stop selling, which I think is great for anyone in sales to hear. It's the Zen approach to selling. The less you do that, the more right business you you get, I think, Keith. But I think also you're opening my mind to what nurturing can look like. And I do think maybe a lot of us get stuck on those sort of go-to behaviors or practices because maybe they've worked or they work with some people, but you're just example. There shows, I think, such a range. And again, how much of it is like just through genuine just connection, thoughtfulness, um personal. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, I think, you know, I I love the also the CRM. I'm dying to ask you, Keith, just because now I have to go there, which is let's talk about some of the tools, some of the practical process things, either that you use, you've seen your clients use, whether it's, hey Elizabeth, a lot of people like the CRM tool tool, or every 30 days, here's a good practice. What are some of the other really good behaviors you you would advise for as tools, systems, whatever you've seen?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm currently in the midst of the book The Art of Impossible. And it's it's it's it's absolutely phenomenal. Let me just give you the title or the name of the person who who wrote this, Stephen Kohler, The Art of Impossible. And and in it, he gets to meet, by the way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we'll link in the show notes because these these sound great, Keith.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because the art of impossible gets into a lot, a lot about the mindset, a lot about the strategy, the approach. Fear is is a is is one that oftentimes keeps people from doing the thing that they should be doing. There's a whole chapter in there about stepping into the fear and finding joy in the fear, because once you step into the fear, you realize that that your perception was more fearful than the actual thing itself. And he the art of impossible is about setting impossible goals and then making them happen. And the way that you make them happen is by having that lofty aspirational piece, but then having just the the miniature goals in between, the just the the hard things that you need to do, the consistency behind it. So for us, we break that down even further. Um, we create a uh for from the whole networking piece of it, it's 90 days. We only look at 90 days and we A-B test. It's okay, the I really I like this. I want to I want to get to know this person better. So I'm gonna spend 90 days of intentionally reaching out to them, inviting them to coffee. Experiences, by the way, is at the highest level of relationship investment. One of the things we talk about is in investing in relationship equity. What is the value of the relationship? And experiences are at the top of the list, like going golfing, going hiking, going biking, whatever your personal passions are, make those connections with the people that you really want to cultivate relationships. But it's it's it's a 90-day plan. And it's always a 90-day plan. So after 90 days of implementing this strategy, like you do in your business, like if it's not working, we need to either uh re-strategize or kill it. And then, like with the people that you talked about, it's like, well, I don't know if this, if this, you know, the kind of relationship's kind of I'm gonna give it 90 days. And after 90 days, I I don't see what I'm getting out of it. I'm gonna kill it. Oh, wow. Just let let it go. Let it go.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01It's not that you're giving up on the person, it's just that this this connection, there's a chemistry in in business and in relationships, like for the leaders here. There's there's that chemistry for your for the internal team that you have, for the leaders that you're cultivating. There's a chemistry there. You've all hired somebody to be like, this guy's the wrong fit. It's the same thing in building relationships. Yeah. Yeah. If it's not working, don't invest your time. It's not you.
SPEAKER_00Yes, you're talking to me right now, Keith, because I I have been known. God forbid I kill a relationship after 90 days. Again, I am the five years later, I'm still trying. And uh, you know, sometimes these things turn around, but I I don't have a doubt in the world that I've probably way over invested, probably made a few folks think I was a stalker. So I'm glad you're too. That's it.
SPEAKER_01I've done it, I've done it too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you know, I will tell you that, and I don't know if you find that in some industries, maybe you know, you're playing a little bit of a longer game. You know, I I describe the business I'm in as a huge relationship business. And I've had clients where we've worked together for 10 years or more. So, you know, but but I but your point is is such a good one, right? There's that balance there. And so um I think about folks that are again, they're just getting started. They feel like Keith, I'm years behind. Um what else can I be doing to accelerate the process? So again, I have my 90-day focus. I'm A-B testing, I've got my five names. You've talked about experience as the highest form of relationship building. Um what else are you seeing that you'd advise people to do or maybe not do if we're really trying to grow and focus in this area?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I I had a chance to, we we do a lot of work within the uh the architecture, engineering, construction space, uh, industrial real estate. We also work with legal teams quite a bit as well. And I was sitting at uh uh at a it's called BD Exchange, it's for business development managers. And they they they they were having a meeting, and the the gentleman by the name of Tom Mitchell, he's the senior principal for the DLR group. And one of the things he talked about is because he talked so much about relationships, but he talked about relationships for for both internal and external. And the moderator is was actually his is one of his employees, one of his BD managers. And he's like, you know, I remember everybody's birthday. Everybody gets a handwritten note from me on their birthday. And in fact, they also have a choice if they want the uh traditional birthday song, if they want it in Spanish, or if they want their birthday song as in yacht rock. And it was this lady's birthday is coming up. He's like, Teresa, how do you want your birthday song this year? She's like, I would love to have yacht rock places like fantastic, yacht rock coming up. So to me, that that is an intentional leader who understands that the people that are really making him successful are the ones who need he needs to cultivate more relationships with. So he he writes them, he writes them uh thank you cards. He he say he calls them on their birthdays. Like he has a relationship with everybody on his team. And this speaks to me because I remember when I was just on the about two years before I stepped out of corporate. Um, the the president of the company at the time was was, I could tell just emotionally was having a really hard time. I had a good personal relationship with him. And he's like, he's like, you know, I just I just feel like I don't don't don't know anybody here. I feel like people don't know me anymore. And I was like, okay. Uh I said if you're open to it, I'd I have one suggestion. Do this one thing. And he's like, what do you got? I was like, our building has east and west entrances. Your office is on the top west side. You always enter through the west entrance, take the staircase straight up and to your desk. I encourage you park on the east side and then just walk through the building and find a different route every time and just say good morning to people. And it's not that you're looking for a long, it drawn out conversation, but stop at one person's desk intentionally and have a conversation with them that is a personable conversation, not about business, not about their numbers or any of those things, just a human-to-human connection. I said, do that for the next 90 days and then see what happens. And and he stepped into it and he he kept it up for 30 days. I was really proud of him. And then slowly just he just started going back to the other side. But what was interesting, and over the course of those 30 days, the amount of people that were in the break room, they're like, uh, did uh did did John stop by your desk? He's like, Yeah, he did. He wanted to know how my kids were doing. Like, what's going on? It's like that. It's what's going on is as a result of them never having connected with you before. So they're like, what's the purpose behind this? But if you do this long enough, that doesn't turn into like what's going on here. It turns more into a relationship. So your team members, they do a lot of work for you. They work really hard. And uh people don't buy Simon said, people don't buy what you do, they buy why you do what you do. And if you're stepping into it as a leader and having that connection with them and understand their why, understand a little bit about them personally, it's gonna go that that is an investment in relationship equity that's actually gonna help your business. So if you don't want to step out and go and build those relationships, then what are you doing to intentionally build the relationships inside? Because if all of you're having is meetings, meetings are about getting stuff done. Yeah, we find ourselves in meetings after meetings, a meeting about a meeting at a Starbucks inside of a Starbucks, right? It's like, what are we meeting about?
SPEAKER_00Right. That's right. Well, and I think in particular, Keith, you know, uh a couple of things I've noticed. First of all, some of my clients, they're fully remote. And so unfortunately, right, unless it's extremely intentional and deliberate and they want to make the investment, they're not necessarily meeting face to face. On the other hand, I have seen situations inside an organization where for a variety of reasons, but sometimes it's well, I'm just in my office, and so we get on a Zoom call, even though half the team is in the building. You know what I mean? And we're still sort of behind the screen. So I think, you know, there's this element of whether it's an underdeveloped muscle, we don't have as many opportunities. It requires us to be, as you've been saying, even more intentional. And I I want to come back to the idea you said early on about you bringing them more into your world. Um what did that mean? What do you mean by that? And and what does that look like?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, uh, I take ownership of the relationships that I have. It's interesting. I was having uh a mentor uh uh uh conversation yesterday with uh a young professional. He's in the financial space, and and we were talking about relationships. He's like, I just feel like nobody ever calls and reaches out to me. He's like, Don't you think that they should be calling me as well? I was like, I used to think that. I still hope for it. Some people do, but the majority of them don't. And you know, I'm at a point now where that's okay because I I'm happy to own this. I will own this space and I will control this space and I will control the opportunity to control the narrative and control the messaging and control the outreach. I will invest in this relationship because I see a value in this. And it's it's moving away from this, this um uh this this tit for tat. Like I called you now, you should call me, and then I will call you. That that's let let that go because that's a transactional relationship, right? If you think about the closest relationships that that you have, like with like with your loved ones, is there a is there a parking meter that's running that we're both feeding? Or is it just matter you're just doing great things and just walking down the street and just putting quarters in everybody's meter? Like, what is what is your intentionality and and the whole thing, I don't have time, it comes back to the catch 22. Nobody has time. And if nobody has time, that means that everybody has time. We have time to focus on the things that we choose to put importance into. And if relationships are that important, especially with quiet quitting and and the the how difficult it is to get great talent into your business, well, let that be the reason for you to invest in relationship capital because that's what that is. Every conversation, every time you connect with them, every touch base, and even at the beginning of meetings. I listened to a great speaker, uh, Scott Tibbets. Uh he uh he's he built a company that ended up uh building the actuator motors that uh activated the Mars rover when it landed.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he now has a keynote. Uh, and if you've got a corporate business, I highly recommend bringing him in because he is a brilliant speaker who's done incredible things, Scott Tibbets. Uh it's uh leadership is not rocket science.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I like it.
SPEAKER_01And what he speaks to is his two pillars for the for this space company that he he built is family and fun. Those are his two pillars. And one of the things that he had that I just absolutely loved is uh he had awards, awards for success and also awards for the greatest failures, is is get people to celebrate their failures. Like this thing went horribly wrong. Yeah, and as a result of it, this is what we learn, as opposed to where the positive numbers, right? Uh people start scrubbing the numbers because they want to want to control it because they want to make you happy. Like start celebrating both of them.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_01And and that's right, celebrate the people that are doing this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love the way you've been talking about this with us, Keith, because I think you really have gotten us out of this mindset of networking as being transactional or just kind of that ick we feel sometimes, even with the word. I know you and I earlier, I was saying to you, I've always thought of it as I'm just, you know, I'm trying to build relationships, but I'm trying to make friends and see people, right? These are friendships that, you know, that we want to last a long time and feel everybody's excited about the relationship. Um, is there anything else that you would have us know? And tell us certainly, Keith, what else do you do with the leaders that you work with? I want to make sure people know about more about your business and the kind of cool work you're doing just to get people even better at relationship building and networking and so on.
SPEAKER_01Everything becomes a lot easier when it's not about you. Stop moving through the world like that that you're the center of it all. Place other people at the center. When you place other people intentionally at the center, which means that I want to get to know, like, and trust you, they will place you at the center. It's it's it's a it's it's it's an altruistic mindset. I back at my time in the Marine Corps, uh, you learn a lot of things. And one of the things you learn is the importance of thinking about other people. And and the reason why a uh a fire team or a core unit is so powerful, it's five people, but it's really 25 minds because everybody's thinking about everybody else and not thinking about themselves. So who are the people in your in in your sphere of influence that that you need to connect with where you're all thinking about each other? Like, how can I how can I help this person out? Who can I introduce them to? So start thinking of the the relationships that you have, not what you can get out of them, but what you can put into them. And and it and it takes the pressure off. And in improv, I have a background in improvisational theater. It's called getting out of your head and getting present in the moment. Stop thinking about you, start thinking about other people. And one of the ways that we do that is we have a uh a two-day networking practice lab where this whole algorithm that's up here, which is uh the road mapping, what's the strategy? Where are you showing up? Where do you need to be showing up that you're not showing up? And then what's the engaging? What is the intentional conversation you want to have? Because we know how conversations go. And most people struggle with conversations. So we actually coach people on how to be a conversational concierge, not small talk. And I hear talk about the weather, we're gonna have intentional, human-to-human interactive conversations that allow us to get to know each other and we have a chance to be able to share values with each other and experiences with each other, and then the practice of it. What are you doing as a leader to improve upon your ability to communicate? Because the reason why I ended up leaving corporate America is because the the leader who was brought into the business that I worked at, he a one-on-one, he was great. Boardrooms was good. Put him in front of the legacy team members and he he fell apart. And and all I wanted to do was just give him a hug every single time. And I finally decided, like, you know what, I need to step into the world and and help prevent unintentional audience abuse. That's really my initial mission is preventing unintentional audience abuse.
SPEAKER_00Please tell us what that is, Keith. Yeah, what is that? I love that phrase. I think we're gonna have to use it more on this podcast. Yes, what is it?
SPEAKER_01So unintentional audience abuse, first and foremost, it's unintentional. So it's not malicious. The speaker is not intentionally creating or causing harm. It's just as a result of their actions that the the audience is feeling pain. And when the audience feels pain, the speaker also feels pain, and then all of a sudden, this thing is hard. So unintentional audience abuse is we've we've all sat in an audience where the speaker is speaking to just facts, figures, and platitudes. And they're not they're not bringing a story into it. There's no why, there's just hows and whats. And we as leaders oftentimes find ourselves just speaking to hows and what's. What we need to be speaking to is the why. Back to Simon Snake. People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do what you do. And that why is a story. So, so in that is if there is a an initiative within the the business, share your your personal relationship to why you feel that this is important and why, why, why this is showing up. And then the other side of it is is the strength of your speech. Because unintentional audience abuse has the holy trinity of regret, shoulda, woulda, coulda, possibly, maybe, probably, sorta, kinda, maybe. When we speak like that, we're we're speaking in it from from states of doubt. And that the words that we say is actually the thoughts that we're having.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01So if you're thinking about those things like, you know, we hope, we hope that this year we have a really good sales cycle. I would go find another job if my boss said that to me, because hope is not a strategy. We should be speaking in our intention, our focus, our direction, our marketing plan is to do this. That's strength of speech. Now you're you're carrying people. And and do things go wrong? Does that end up not always working out? Sure. But if people are going to buy into you for you being the leader, you need to show up and speak like the leader. So preventing unintentional audience abuse is working with business professionals on their actual communication for well, back to back to Shakespeare, Elizabeth. All the world's a stage. How you show up is a direct reflection of your personal professional brand's ability to communicate. So, as a leader, what stages are you taking? And then what are the gifts that you're giving to your audience? I give this to you.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. Well, Keith, listen, you have given us many, many gifts. You really have.
SPEAKER_01Put me on my soapbox, Elizabeth.
SPEAKER_00But you know, I think that this is what we need to hear. And I think everyone as we're listening is thinking, yeah, these are absolutely things that we can do. And it's a journey, right? We're all continuing to grow and learn. And like, what better thing is there to grow and learn? And it's just we get to meet awesome people.
SPEAKER_01It's it's this guy right here, practice. Practice is for for for us is the key element to it. Here, here's here's the last quick, quick analogous story as to why we do what we do. Professionals. Business professionals are the only professionals who do not practice their craft. And our craft is communication for the spoken word. We lead by the words that we speak, yet we never show up to any place to practice them with intentionality. Imagine, imagine uh LeBron James goes to his coach. He's like, you know, I've been doing this for 20 years. I'm pretty awesome. Not sure if you know, but I'm kind of a big deal. So I'm not going to do free throws and layups anymore. My bread and butter, the thing that wins games, I'm just not going to practice that anymore because I've been doing it for so long. First, his coach would be like, Like, uh, no, that's not an option. And second, we know the work ethic of LeBron James that he would never say those words. So, as a leader, what are you doing to intentionally improve upon your ability, your personal professional brand's ability to communicate? And in that, it is go go take an improv class. Improv is is one of the best ways to learn how to develop social skills for communication. Uh, go take uh an acting class. Uh, go to Toastmasters. Um, I'm actually, I just shared this with my uh, I just share this with my my business partners. Um, next year for for three months, I'm I'm gonna take a clown class.
SPEAKER_00Okay, everybody, we heard it here. That is gonna be awesome. Why not?
SPEAKER_01Exactly. It's practice.
SPEAKER_00I love that. Yes, yes, but it's it's such a great point, and it really struck me as you said it that um who's practicing? This is for every all of us, you know, it's critical to the brand, to the livelihood, and yet um a lot of us are not doing that necessarily. So, I mean, what I love about your lab, right, is you're giving people that opportunity to do all of these things in it, sounds like a really great, safe setting. And maybe tell us when you when is your next lab? Oh, how can people learn more? Let's hear about that, Keith.
SPEAKER_01I thank you so much for this opportunity. I I so appreciate it. We actually have um our next network of action where we have we have a back-to-back. Uh we've got one coming up September 24th and 25th. It's gonna be in Las Vegas, Nevada.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay, everyone.
SPEAKER_01No, we're we're taking the show on the road. Uh, and then it is October 1st and 2nd here in Denver. Oh, fantastic. Okay, yeah. And and the way they work is day one is is we work a little bit on the road mapping and the strategy, but we spend a huge portion of it on the engaging and the conversations that you want to have to be a conversation concierge is what we teach you to be. And because we practice that that evening we go to a networking event just to put things into play. Because the best ways that we learn is practice, play, integrate. Repeat, practice, play, integrate. This is how professional athletes improve upon their skill sets. And we as business professionals can improve upon our ability to communicate. Day two, it's it's all road mapping. It's going deep into that plan and that strategy. We help you build out a 90-day plan. And then uh at the end of it, at the end of two days, you've got a plan that's put together. There is an invitation if you want to join us for the practice field, which is a one-year training evolution where we just we stay connected and we keep guiding and coaching you for all things communication.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Also so valuable. Two days, right, is incredible, but we know, right? It's the repetition, it's the habit, it's over time. And I can imagine you see people make just huge, huge strides over that year, Keith. I'm sure you do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. The confidence is what brings me some of the greatest joys. Just the ability for people to be specific, concise, and memorable, and to be articulate. Like that is to me, our our mission is to help business professionals live a life well spoken. Life is hard. And when you can't clearly communicate what it is that you need or what is the vision of your businesses, you're you're going to really struggle. And I empathize with that. And that's what we're here to help with.
SPEAKER_00Oh well, um, this is really, really great work. And uh, you know, hard to imagine what what's more important to professionals out there. And so, Keith, so delighted to have you with us on the podcast. I'm sure you're gonna get all kinds of inquiries and interest um because this is just so valuable. And so thank you for joining us. Hey, everybody, you can check out Keith, check out his company, go through the show notes, and we'll have all the links there. All right, until next time, I'll see you in Executive Land. Thanks, everybody. Well, that's all for today in Executive Land. Thanks for listening. And if you're looking for more, check out my website, eSuiteleader.com, where you'll see all kinds of free resources and take the free executive readiness assessment. It shows you exactly where you're strong and where to focus next in your own leadership. And don't forget, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. I'll see you next time in Executive Land.
